I want a boyfriend sooo bad. There are so many adorable guys around, but there's no way I'll ever get to talk to them unless a teacher makes a good seating arrangement (which has only happed maybe 3 times...)!!! I hate relying on other people in order to make myself happy. It takes too long. (That's why group projects are an annoyance for me...I can do better if I only have to rely on myself to get crap done.)
I just need to sit by a guy who's cute, and have some semi-talkative other guys around to make him speak in our little area, and then if I feel comfy enough, I will talk and then we will talk to each other and then who knows what... PROBABLY NOTHING! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE being some random Junior who knows NOBODY!!!! This is so horrible. I mean, I'm sure it's much, much better to be unknown than known and rejected. I must choose friends carefully. I really don't understand why there is a high school king-knight-peasant-type of thing all the time... Everyone should be able to do whatever they want. You can act stupid and blind and say that there are no social restrictions, but there are. I can see them. And I haven't even been in public school for a whole year. There's a crazy different between private school and public school. Some good, some bad. When the year is over, I'll be sure to document all my observations here, but that's in a long time! I still have a lot to experience. I mean, I didn't go to any football games. So who knows what that aspect of high school life is like?

I still find it mindboggling to talk to guys. It just seems weird. Guys hung out with guys. Girls hung out with girls. They didn't really mix.

And it's so sad to see how girls interact with each other after coming from OLP. There is so much hate. As a female, the first lesson in life you must learn is to never completely trust another girl. Most girls are evil, lying, cheating, backstabbing freaks. Yeah, they are. Even your so-called best friend could be. One day you guys can be totally happy. the next day they are sneaking arounf and trying to ruin you. Don't let friends out of your sight. Be jealous. You have to be protective, because anything can happen if you let a friend slip away and then they just turn on you.

I feel sorry for all the "popular" type of guys. They date such stupid, careless, inattentive girls. Girls are too obsessed with drama and hurting each other. Guys don't wanna hear their girlfriend rambling on and on about how so-and-so's friend said this to some other girl about her, and then the other girl told so-and-so, and now everyone's all mad at each other. First of all, it probably gets confusing. Second of all, it has nothing to do with the guy. Third, guys don't take stuff so seriously. They don't have stupid catfights everyday. Who wants to listen to other people's rediculous, petty problems? Guys need girlfriends who will come over to their house to play video games or watch the Superbowl or wander around the neighborhood or go to a Padre game downtown or go to the beach and just hang out. They need girls who will be supportive and show up at their soccer games or write them little notes of encouragement before Finals or meet them in-between classes to remind them about things or do homework with them after school or find books to help with their history essay. Boys should have a girl who will eat lunch with them or buy them a cookie every break or kiss them between classes or plan everyday to get outta class to "go to the bathroom" but really meet them at 10:15 behing the Science Department building...or walk to classes together or chill with every morning at 7:20 before school starts. Guys have to have a girl who they can talk to about anything, who will teach them important things that will help them succeed, who'll tell them how wonderful they are, who will baby and spoil them, who will take care of them and just love them to death. Couples should be more dedicated to each other and should be looking forward to long-term relationships. I don't want a guy looking for a girlfriend he can just throw away after a few months or after we graduate or if he's "bored". I need someone who will be more than happy to communicate any wants of his to me. I don't want to be oblivious to things.

Summary: Long term good, quickie bad. I'm not saying you gotta get married, but what the hell's the point of getting a girl all in love with a guy and then ending it? Girls are so much more vulnerable to falling in love than guys. And men just don't get it. Just because they don't reach that point as quickly, they think we won't mind if they leave us. Just because it doesn't hurt you, doesn't mean it's not hurting me. Freakin' remember that, boys. Everyone. Learn a little something about the people you encounter. It can only help you.

"Put yourselves in someone else's shoes. And when you've walked a mile in them, buy the person a new pair of shoes because you probably got them pretty dirty." -me

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